Thursday, September 17, 2009

Good News

As a post script to my last blog I'd like to report that the peace that God gave me regarding the news of the suspicious lump, lasted all week long. So much so that I forgot at times that it was looming in the back of my mind - a matter to be dealt with. I did my best throughout the week to keep my mind stayed on Him but I also had a LOT of prayers for which I am very grateful.

Today was the day. They decided to aspirate the cyst. It was a complex cyst which meant that it had shading on the ultrasound that indicated that it may not be completely fluid. That shading is what they needed to investigate. They explained how they would do that. They would take a needle and guided by ultrasound they would puncture the cyst. Then they would suction it. If it all drained out, the cyst would collapse and it would be all good. If not, they would switch the needle to a bigger one, get a sample of what was left and send it for a biopsy. I liked the first scenario best. I pick door #1 please.

As I laid there being prepped, here's how my thought process went...

Gosh, I can't believe how very calm I am...

I can't believe how much peace I have laying here waiting for them to stick me with a large needle...

Why do I have so much peace??? (Here's where the downward spiral began...)

I wonder if God is preparing me for something???

I wonder if He's giving me this peace in advance to cushion the bad news I may get???

How quickly I digressed! I let the if's come creeping in.

I can just imagine God looking down and saying..."What is it with this girl? She prays for peace, I give it to her and then she questions why she has so much peace!"

I caught myself and turned my attention to the doctor who was saying, "OK, here we go" and I watched the monitor as the fluid completely drained out and the cyst collapsed. YAY!!

The three lovely ladies in the room were all so genuinely happy for me.

I mentioned to one of the ladies that my heart ached a little to think of the women that have gone before me and those who will come after me whose news would not be as good. She assured me that there is so much that can be done now that even bad news still comes with a lot of hope. I know I will have even more compassion now for the causes bearing the pink ribbons.

Thanks to my family and friends for all the prayers and thank you Lord for the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Love,

Tracey

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything , by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

To fear or not to fear?

When I was younger I battled with fear. I have worked hard to overcome it because nothing good comes of it. For the most part I feel like I have a handle on it now, but every so often it tries to rears its ugly head.

Last week I went to see my doctor for a “yearly” exam (that I haven’t had in 7 years). I know, I know, I’m not proud of that I’m just letting you know - it’s been a while. (If you are a guy and you’re reading this you may want to click out now and go read the paper or something.)

During the routine visit the doctor performed a breast exam. She stopped mid-exam and with a concerned look on her face ask me, “Have you ever felt this before?” She was referring to a small lump that she was fingering. I hadn’t. I don’t know how I missed it but I did.

She immediately set-me up for a mammogram and an ultrasound to investigate. Right about then is when my fearful nature would have kicked into overdrive. The “what if____” questions were beginning to circle, taunting me to fill in the blanks. I didn’t want the “what if’s” to prevail so I reached for a promise. This verse was the first one that popped into my head:

You will keep her in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You.
(I changed the pronouns to suit myself :))

That’s the part of the verse that I remembered. So that’s what I did. I started to think about the fact that no one loves me more than God does and He’s the one in control of everything in my life.

I went about my day in peace. Peace throughout the mammogram. Peace throughout the ultrasound. I’m telling you, I had an overwhelming sense of PEACE. His word is true, His promises are for TODAY.

When I got home I looked it up the verse and found it in Isaiah. But there was more to it than just the part I had remembered. Here it is in its entirety.

Isaiah 26:3 (New King James Version)
You will keep her in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because she trusts in You.

In that simple verse there is a promise, a condition and a reason.

The promise – He will keep you in perfect peace
The condition – If you keep your mind STAYED on Him.
The reason - Because we trust Him

Don’t waste a single moment today worrying or fearing for tomorrow. Don’t let what only may be rob you of what is today.

Lord, help me today and everyday to keep my mind stayed on you and help me to trust you with everything I am.

Love,
Tracey

P.S. Turned out to be a complex cyst that they will biopsy. I’ll keep you posted – prayers appreciated!!